by Ricky Martin
Living To Be On Oprah
She's into new sensations.
She diets really well.
All through the nineties there were fluctuations,
But these days you can hardly tell.
She makes a ton of money,
sides with psychologists.
She'll mend your heart and she'll call you honey
almost enough to make you slit your wrists.
She is the greatest talk show host;
she always gets results.
She's better than Jerry Springer
'cause she rarely spotlights cults...
and her guests act like adults. Come On!
Her manners are sublime!
we're livin' to be on Oprah!
Her guests are on daytime
TV alongside Oprah.
They've done courageous feats,
and they never gave up hope-rah.
Now, they get discount suites;
They're livin' to be on Oprah, Come on!
Livin' out of a bag for Oprah!
They're livin' to be on Oprah.
Based in the Windy City,
she's always hard at work.
She'll take your hand, and she'll give you pity.
She founded the Oxygen Network.
And she's a huge philanthropist,
and she's a movie star!
Just look under your seats, and then
SHE-BANG, hey, there you are:
everybody gets a car! Come on!
A self-made billionaire;
You know you're not rich like Oprah.
But she'll pay you to care;
the audience wins on Oprah!
No guest may be a grouch;
you better learn to cope-rah.
Tom Cruise just broke her couch.
He's happy to be on Oprah. Come On!
Too happy to be on Oprah, Come on!
Far too happy to be on Oprah.
Well, all she has to do is cough,
and people start to clap.
The secret to The Secret is
that it's a load of crap...
Do I haaaave to draaaaw a map? Come On!
You scoff, but here's the thing:
you're livin' to be on Oprah.
You wish you were Gayle King.
(She probably sleeps with Oprah.)
Her magazine's called 'O'!
And her doctor's Deepak Chopra!
Backwards, her name's Harpo;
That's a Marxist theory 'bout Oprah!
This song is going still!
And now, here's a word from Oprah:
"I made you, Dr. Phil!
You're living because of Oprah.
I broke you, James C. Frey
And this is how small you broke-a!
< copy of "A Million Little Pieces" >
So tune in every day!
You're livin' to be on Oprah, Come On!
Livin' to be on Oprah, Come on!
You're livin' to be on Oprah."
Livin' livin' livin' to be on Oprah!
Livin' livin' livin' to be on Oprah!
Livin' livin' livin' to be!
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