Anteater

to the tune of "Maneater"
by Nelly Furtado

This video is slightly off from the mp3 version I used to write the parody. That's okay though because this video is hilarious.


Anteater
My fav'rite female thinks I'm yummy
I walk in the door, she wants to tongue me.
And it's not just me who's got the luck now
Ev'ryone in here could get a suck now
If you're alone with her in the backroom,
She will latch onto you like a vacuum
But before you get down on your knees knees,
I think you're thinkin' of the wrong species

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

Now when you walk into a pet shop,
Don't ask at the counter, you can't get one.
I know I said the animal's erotic,
But like a dancer, this pet is exotic.
And once you find one, you don't get a little kiss
You! get all slobbered by her proboscis!
She's doing all these things to keep you on your toes
Because I'd say she loves your, loves your long nose.

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

(singer sticks out tongue like he's an anteater)
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
(singer reaches behind him)
(uh weuh weuh weuh) AAAAaaaaaAAAA.
(singer pulls out raisins and peanut butter on celery)
(sticks out tongue as if eating raisins)
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
(as this chorus goes on, dance becomes jerkier and more spasm-ridden)
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
Make you freeze up,
Make you seize up,
make you fall down to the floor
(singer does)
She's an anteater
You don't look good
Maybe we should
Not be doing this any more.

I swear I thought it'd gotten better by now
I do not want to have another right now
Nelly Furtado is to blame, 'cause, let's see,
Her dancing looks too much like epilepsy
Sorry I'm bitter, but that didn't feel nice.
Well maybe I should seek a medic's advice.
I definitely need a medic's advice.
I'll go right now to get a medic's advice.

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull