Silly Rabbit

Silly Rabbit
to the tune of 'Live Forever'
by Oasis



(fade in on Trix Rabbit in drag confronting kids in front of a minivan parked on the curb)

Hey, kids! I'm your friendly meter maid
And you underpaid.
You could pay me with some Trix.
Wait, kids. Don't give in to fear and doubt
When my ears pop out
God, I really need a fix.

The best breakfast that I've seen
Or'ngey or'nge and limey green
There is nothing I won't do
For you kids' wildberry blue
But you put me on the skids
You say Trix are just for kids
And I'm nothing but a silly Rabbit...

I said, Hey, kids!
I've been waiting in the park
Out here in the dark
For you guys to happen by
Wait kids! It's not creepy in the least
No need for police
...Give it here, and no one dies.

Now you run, oh that's just great
I will never eat at this rate.
You ask why I'm up in arms
It's revenge for Lucky Charms
Oh, I steal? Well you do too,
And plus I'm taller than you.
Why am I just the silly Rabbit?

(Scooby-Doo style chase around park as Rabbit tries all kinds of disguises to get the cereal from the kids, while the kids try to find a policeman)

Maybe I'm a cereal criminal
But it's gettin' dull
'cause I just wanna taste
Lately I've been pickin' up my checks
And no one suspects
That I might purchase a box.

Finally I get to try
Some new Trix that aren't a lie
Here we go, and not too soon
Chomping down on milk and spoon
What the hell, this tastes like shit
All these years, and this is it?
I don't want it now that I have it...
I'm such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...

(final instrumental is police showing up as Rabbit destroys Trix display in anger, kids point him out in a lineup and Rabbit is carted off to jail where other cartoon cereal mascots are also imprisoned, including the Cookie Crisp Crook, Sonny the Cuckoo, Lucky, Barney Rubble and other enemies of breakfasting children everywhere. Close on shot of Rabbit in cell as meal is slid under the door...and it's a bowl of Trix.)

Anteater

to the tune of "Maneater"
by Nelly Furtado

This video is slightly off from the mp3 version I used to write the parody. That's okay though because this video is hilarious.


Anteater
My fav'rite female thinks I'm yummy
I walk in the door, she wants to tongue me.
And it's not just me who's got the luck now
Ev'ryone in here could get a suck now
If you're alone with her in the backroom,
She will latch onto you like a vacuum
But before you get down on your knees knees,
I think you're thinkin' of the wrong species

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

Now when you walk into a pet shop,
Don't ask at the counter, you can't get one.
I know I said the animal's erotic,
But like a dancer, this pet is exotic.
And once you find one, you don't get a little kiss
You! get all slobbered by her proboscis!
She's doing all these things to keep you on your toes
Because I'd say she loves your, loves your long nose.

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

(singer sticks out tongue like he's an anteater)
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
(singer reaches behind him)
(uh weuh weuh weuh) AAAAaaaaaAAAA.
(singer pulls out raisins and peanut butter on celery)
(sticks out tongue as if eating raisins)
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
(as this chorus goes on, dance becomes jerkier and more spasm-ridden)
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
Make you freeze up,
Make you seize up,
make you fall down to the floor
(singer does)
She's an anteater
You don't look good
Maybe we should
Not be doing this any more.

I swear I thought it'd gotten better by now
I do not want to have another right now
Nelly Furtado is to blame, 'cause, let's see,
Her dancing looks too much like epilepsy
Sorry I'm bitter, but that didn't feel nice.
Well maybe I should seek a medic's advice.
I definitely need a medic's advice.
I'll go right now to get a medic's advice.

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull