Anteater

to the tune of "Maneater"
by Nelly Furtado

This video is slightly off from the mp3 version I used to write the parody. That's okay though because this video is hilarious.


Anteater
My fav'rite female thinks I'm yummy
I walk in the door, she wants to tongue me.
And it's not just me who's got the luck now
Ev'ryone in here could get a suck now
If you're alone with her in the backroom,
She will latch onto you like a vacuum
But before you get down on your knees knees,
I think you're thinkin' of the wrong species

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

Now when you walk into a pet shop,
Don't ask at the counter, you can't get one.
I know I said the animal's erotic,
But like a dancer, this pet is exotic.
And once you find one, you don't get a little kiss
You! get all slobbered by her proboscis!
She's doing all these things to keep you on your toes
Because I'd say she loves your, loves your long nose.

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

(singer sticks out tongue like he's an anteater)
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
(singer reaches behind him)
(uh weuh weuh weuh) AAAAaaaaaAAAA.
(singer pulls out raisins and peanut butter on celery)
(sticks out tongue as if eating raisins)
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
(as this chorus goes on, dance becomes jerkier and more spasm-ridden)
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
Make you freeze up,
Make you seize up,
make you fall down to the floor
(singer does)
She's an anteater
You don't look good
Maybe we should
Not be doing this any more.

I swear I thought it'd gotten better by now
I do not want to have another right now
Nelly Furtado is to blame, 'cause, let's see,
Her dancing looks too much like epilepsy
Sorry I'm bitter, but that didn't feel nice.
Well maybe I should seek a medic's advice.
I definitely need a medic's advice.
I'll go right now to get a medic's advice.

She's an anteater
not an aardvark
here's the hard part
it's the snout that makes the diff.
She's an anteater
hide your ant farm
think she can't harm
it? You're wrong. And it's when, not if.
She's an anteater
weirder features
than most creatures:
platypus or a buffalo
She's an anteater
Friends of her might
Eat some termites
Stick a long tongue down the hole

Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull
Uh llleh-ull llleh-ull llleh-ull

The Meat Debate

to the tune of "The Sweet Escape"
by Gwen Stefani (feat. Akon)



The Meat Debate
by Simon FitzKit (feat. Eitan)

(Munch, munch, much, munch...)
WOOhoo, YEEhoo
WOOhoo, YEEhoo
WOOhoo, YEEhoo
WOOhoo, YEEhoo

If I could eat steak,
I would, 'cause all these years, I've been cruel
I have been quietly eating my hummus, breaking your one rule
You told me, "Baby, I do not love you any more
'Cause you haven't once tried to be a carnivore
God, who orders a BLT minus the B-e-e-e?"

Well, I could eat steak,
And thus act like a better boyfriend again.
I wouldn't have to be a vegan
Forever; we could be together!
So tell me, girl, what if I eat meat?

If I could eat meat,
Would you rethink and be my girl?
I'd swallow and then try not to hurl
It's nyasty --Oops, I mean, it's tasty
But please just don't ask me, what's my beef?
(Meat debate, meat debate)

(WOOhoo YEEhoo) I wanna getta away, Get away...
(WOOhoo YEEhoo) From all this meat debate, This meat debate...
(WOOhoo YEEhoo) I wanna get away, get away....
(WOOhoo) Yeah-ah-ah (YEEhoo)

So I could try
to gobble down a breast or a thigh
Some tenderloin
Now there's a meaty meal I could join
Pork by the pound
I'd scarf it down to keep you around
Don't diss the salads I've downed.
Let's look for some common ground...

...round! Baby...back ribs shouldn't faze me
Though they were once named Daisy
Standing out in a field grazing
Smother it in some gravy
I don't need to be quirky
I don't wanna be jerky:
No more tofurkey

If I could eat steak
And thus act like a better boyfriend again.
I wouldn't have to be a vegan
Forever; we could be together!
So tell me, girl, what if I eat meat?

If I could eat meat,
I know I'd feel like a bad man
But if you ask me to, then I can.
Whatever. If that will make it better,
Then tell me, girl, why don't I eat meat?
(Meat debate, meat debate)

(WOOhoo YEEhoo) //puts a bite of steak in mouth//
(WOOhoo YEEhoo) (speaking through mouthful:) If I could eat steak...
(WOOhoo YEEhoo) (about to be sick:) If I could eat steak...
(WOOhoo) //spits it up// (YEEhoo)

But hey, on second thought maybe it wasn't this boy
Who's to blame for the strain that you've caused over soy
Maybe that's the reason I've been looking so gree-ee-een

If I could eat steak...
...Well, first of all, what'd that even change?
My moral system would be deranged
Forever. You can't make that better!
Now tell me, girl, what if I eat meat?

Don't want to eat meat
But I know that you don't give a damn.
Why can't you love me for who I am?
Whatever. I could change ...However,
Just tell me girl, what if I weren't me?
(Me debate, me debate)

(WOOhoo YEEhoo) I wanna getta away, Get away...
(WOOhoo YEEhoo) From all this meat debate, This meat debate...
(WOOhoo YEEhoo) I wanna get away, get away....
(WOOhoo) Yeah-ah-ah (YEEhoo)

Living To Be On Oprah

to the tune of "Living La Vida Loca"
by Ricky Martin

Ricky MartinLivin' La Vida Loca

Living To Be On Oprah
She's into new sensations.
She diets really well.
All through the nineties there were fluctuations,
But these days you can hardly tell.
She makes a ton of money,
sides with psychologists.
She'll mend your heart and she'll call you honey
almost enough to make you slit your wrists.

She is the greatest talk show host;
she always gets results.
She's better than Jerry Springer
'cause she rarely spotlights cults...
and her guests act like adults. Come On!

Her manners are sublime!
we're livin' to be on Oprah!
Her guests are on daytime
TV alongside Oprah.
They've done courageous feats,
and they never gave up hope-rah.
Now, they get discount suites;
They're livin' to be on Oprah, Come on!
Livin' out of a bag for Oprah!
They're livin' to be on Oprah.

Based in the Windy City,
she's always hard at work.
She'll take your hand, and she'll give you pity.
She founded the Oxygen Network.
And she's a huge philanthropist,
and she's a movie star!
Just look under your seats, and then
SHE-BANG, hey, there you are:
everybody gets a car! Come on!

A self-made billionaire;
You know you're not rich like Oprah.
But she'll pay you to care;
the audience wins on Oprah!
No guest may be a grouch;
you better learn to cope-rah.
Tom Cruise just broke her couch.
He's happy to be on Oprah. Come On!
Too happy to be on Oprah, Come on!
Far too happy to be on Oprah.

Well, all she has to do is cough,
and people start to clap.
The secret to The Secret is
that it's a load of crap...
Do I haaaave to draaaaw a map? Come On!

You scoff, but here's the thing:
you're livin' to be on Oprah.
You wish you were Gayle King.
(She probably sleeps with Oprah.)
Her magazine's called 'O'!
And her doctor's Deepak Chopra!
Backwards, her name's Harpo;
That's a Marxist theory 'bout Oprah!
This song is going still!
And now, here's a word from Oprah:
"I made you, Dr. Phil!
You're living because of Oprah.
I broke you, James C. Frey
And this is how small you broke-a!
< copy of "A Million Little Pieces" >
So tune in every day!
You're livin' to be on Oprah, Come On!
Livin' to be on Oprah, Come on!
You're livin' to be on Oprah."

Livin' livin' livin' to be on Oprah!
Livin' livin' livin' to be on Oprah!
Livin' livin' livin' to be!