Silly Rabbit

Silly Rabbit
to the tune of 'Live Forever'
by Oasis



(fade in on Trix Rabbit in drag confronting kids in front of a minivan parked on the curb)

Hey, kids! I'm your friendly meter maid
And you underpaid.
You could pay me with some Trix.
Wait, kids. Don't give in to fear and doubt
When my ears pop out
God, I really need a fix.

The best breakfast that I've seen
Or'ngey or'nge and limey green
There is nothing I won't do
For you kids' wildberry blue
But you put me on the skids
You say Trix are just for kids
And I'm nothing but a silly Rabbit...

I said, Hey, kids!
I've been waiting in the park
Out here in the dark
For you guys to happen by
Wait kids! It's not creepy in the least
No need for police
...Give it here, and no one dies.

Now you run, oh that's just great
I will never eat at this rate.
You ask why I'm up in arms
It's revenge for Lucky Charms
Oh, I steal? Well you do too,
And plus I'm taller than you.
Why am I just the silly Rabbit?

(Scooby-Doo style chase around park as Rabbit tries all kinds of disguises to get the cereal from the kids, while the kids try to find a policeman)

Maybe I'm a cereal criminal
But it's gettin' dull
'cause I just wanna taste
Lately I've been pickin' up my checks
And no one suspects
That I might purchase a box.

Finally I get to try
Some new Trix that aren't a lie
Here we go, and not too soon
Chomping down on milk and spoon
What the hell, this tastes like shit
All these years, and this is it?
I don't want it now that I have it...
I'm such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...
Such a silly rabbit...

(final instrumental is police showing up as Rabbit destroys Trix display in anger, kids point him out in a lineup and Rabbit is carted off to jail where other cartoon cereal mascots are also imprisoned, including the Cookie Crisp Crook, Sonny the Cuckoo, Lucky, Barney Rubble and other enemies of breakfasting children everywhere. Close on shot of Rabbit in cell as meal is slid under the door...and it's a bowl of Trix.)

The War On Scientology

Challenge from Joe Stuntman: "All the songs in your playlist sound like they could be parodies about Scientology." With that in mind, and with the current situation threatening the Church(as told by Warren Ellis + Update), I present:

to the tune of "Minority"
by Green Day



The War On Scientology

Anonymous called, "Hypocrisy!
We hate their ideology!
We will destroy their theology!"
Yeah, I'd hate to be Scientology.

They pledge allegiance to L. Ron Hubbard.
Their thetans rule their souls,
Their devotion is absurd.
They claim a jillion copies
of Dianetics sold.
E-meter tests
don't measure stress,
But that is Need To Know! HEY!

Here is the big thing that bothers me!
They've got the worst methodology.
I don't want a church that follows me,
But that's what you get with Scientology.

Here's Anonymous
with its Manifesto squeezed
into Youtube clips.
The Church can't be pleased
with
DENIAL OF SERVICE!

The Church...is doomed
Unless I miss my mark.
It serves them right for getting Isaac Hayes off of South Park.
They're creepy and they're kooky,
Their cause is without worth.
So please don't stall,
fuck 'em all;
It's Battlefield Earth! HEY!

Wreck the Church of Scientology!
They owe us all an apology;
They claimed spiritu'l technology,
But it's more like applied psychology! HEY!

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)

You'll prank, you'll fax,
You'll hack the Church apart.
Maybe once you're done you'll say, "Well, that was a good start.
Now next up we'll kill Judaism, Christianity.
Religion, it's
Opiates!
We want you all drug-free!" HEY!

Soon, through osmotic virology,
We'll fall to Project Chanology.
But though we may lose our demographies,
It's worth the War On Scientology!

(We're at war with) Scientology!
(We're at war with) Scientology!
(We're at war with) Scientology!
We're at war with Scientology! HEY!